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1. Ask them why the are marrying you and set out to work on that purpose as soon as possible. The primary purpose of getting married is to fulfil your vision, others are secondary. Find out what their vision is and begin working on it together. Couples who succeed fast in marriage are those who take their future seriously since courtship. What is your vision?
2. Pray together about your future, home, ministry, vision, career, business, etc. Use the power of two to demolish any devil that may want to tamper with your destiny! “For one will chase a thousand. Two will chase ten thousand.”
3. Ask each other serious questions about their past so you can know where they are coming from, why they act the way they do and how to help them become better.
4. Get to know their friends and family especially family members. Study them, find out about their customs, traditions, beliefs and see how you can fit in, wisely reject what does not favour your Christian beliefs and start developing your own core beliefs together.
5. Study your partner. Read WHY YOU ACT THE WAY YOU DO by Tim Lahaye to understand their temperament. THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES by Gary Chapman to understand their love languages and start speaking them from courtship forward.
6. Talk about what your home will look like.
7. Thoroughly discuss finance. How to make money, increase money, multiply mony and manage money. Discuss kingdom investments: tithe, offering, sacrificial offerings, seed sowing and other ways of growing money like investments, etc and start working towards financial freedom as early as possible.
8. Study their weaknesses. Develop the character to relate well with them and develop conflict resolution skills.
9. Go out together often and watch how they relate with people, things, circumstances and situations.
10. Study each other and be sure your personality agrees. What most singles are doing with sex in courtship, I’m yet to understand! The real work they suppose to do, they won’t! You close your eyes to his hot temper and cheating, have sex like you are possessed, close your brain to sound judgement and go right ahead and marry him. Don’t come crying here he sleeps around and beats you in marriage ooo, no one will listen to you, you hear?
11. Go for counselling! “Love is blind” they say but anointed counsellors/men/women of God have very sharp spiritual eyes spitting with fire to help you open them! If you are running away from counselling, you are a suspect! There are millions of cockroaches in your cupboard!
12 Read! They won’t! It is clothes, hair and shoes they will be spending money on including pre-wedding photo shoot! An exam you don’t prepare for, you will fail woefully in it! Prepare for marriage by reading godly books by godly authors or you will weep badly in your marriage!
13. Talk! If you can’t have any meaningful discussion without fighting/arguing from now till Jesus comes without reaching any form of compromise/agreement, either you should both grow up or simply end the relationship!
14. Prepare to be a husband/wife by learning from successfully married couples, reading books, listening to tapes and attending special programmes, seminars.
15. Avoid sin! If you spend all your courtship time caressing, fondling and having sex, you need deliverance!
16. Monitor each other’s progress. Your life should be getting better not worse since you’ve known them. You should be increasing spiritually, mentally, academically, career wise, business wise, money wise and other areas of your life.
If you are getting worse, bitter, deteriorating, decreasing, fearful, backward and dying spiritually since you’ve been courting then your two is not better than one, it is worse than one!
Think well and pray again.
May the good Lord grant you understanding.
Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2021.