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“Help, how do I become sexually compatible with my spouse?”
Here are a few ways cultivate sexual compatibility in marriage if you have the above concern.
1. Don’t have an exit plan. Stop wondering if there is better sex out there as this will sow seeds of infidelity
2. Know that even though sex is a key component of marriage, there is more to marriage than sex. Look at your spouse holistically, what are you grateful for?
3. Know that each marriage has its own journey and seasons. For some, this includes a season when sex becomes scarce or boring
4. Look back and see if you two have been having difficulty connecting sexually from the very beginning. Most likely you two started off with a spark then the fire died down. What sequence of events led to the dip?
5. Beyond the sex, are there underlying issues in your marriage that are not being addressed? Issues such as communication, respect, finances, phone use, in laws and insecurities? Underlying issues going ignored will lead to you two having negative perception towards each other. Sex starts in the mind. Once you have a negative opinion of your spouse, sex will suffer
6. Know that there are libido killers in men and women. Men’s enthusiasm for sex can be work stress, financial constraints, self consciousness about the size of the penis and disrespect from the wife. For women, financial constraints, exhaustion, low self-esteem, self consciousness about her body and insensitivity from the husband. Address these by making your spouse feel understood. Cultivate emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy will follow
7. Know that sometimes libido is inhibited due to hormonal changes as a result of family planning. If this is an issue, consider as a couple to change the family planning method
8. Go through the SEX QUIZ FOR HUSBANDS and SEX QUIZ FOR WIVES. A series of tests designed by Akello and I to help know each other better sexually.